If I were to tell you where I was in my life just 2 years ago, I don’t know that you’d believe me. I barely believe it myself. To an outsider, it looked like I had the perfect life. I was married, had 3 great kids, had a house, a successful business doing something that I loved. But the truth of the matter was that I was holding it all together by a thread. A thread that was constantly being repaired at great personal expense. In reality, I was a shell of a human being.
Then life came crashing down on me… hard. My marriage of 20 years ended abruptly and traumatically throwing everything into chaos and just 4 months after that, I got my first cancer diagnosis. From trying to get divorced, to trying to sell my home of 15 years, to trying to manage 3 traumatized and confused kids, to trying to stay alive… it was a shit show of monumental proportions.
And I wouldn’t change any of it (well, there’s definitely one thing that I’d change, but unfortunately you can’t change what someone else has done to hurt someone you love). But as far as what I went through, which was HELLA fucked up, I still wouldn’t change it. Because it forced me to look at the life I was living and how I needed to take serious responsibility for my happiness (or lack thereof at that point).
I started doing these 5 things RELIGIOUSLY every day and have not gone a day without since and they have changed my life. Like for reals y’all. Complete 180 in such a good way that I want to say 360 to make a point but that would mean I was back where I was and I most definitely am not and don’t plan to ever be again.
From a complete mess to contentment in a pretty short period of time. And things are still pretty crazy. But I’m able to easily see the fun and joy in and laugh my way through almost all of it.
FIVE NICE THINGS - so I wrote about this, probably a year ago, on my photography blog only months after starting to do it because it was THAT POWERFUL. You can read that full post here. The basic gist; anytime you say something unkind about yourself, you have to then say FIVE NICE THINGS about yourself to counter it. This was huge for me, as I’d developed a really bad habit of saying bad things about myself and that is a sure fire way to keep yourself locked in unhappiness. FIVE NICE THINGS is truly transformative and life changing.
DAILY, BIG, FAT PEP TALK - so I learned the concept of morning pages from the book The Artists Way. It’s where you start your day by writing a minimum of 2 pages. It’s just a stream of consciousness thing, so whatever comes up, you write. I did that for about a month and I started noticing patterns and stories that were repeating over and over. And they were stories that I did NOT want to be telling for myself. So I changed this from a stream of consciousness, to a BIG FAT PEP TALK FOR TRISH. Every morning I write 2 pages, minimum, of things that I like about myself, things that I’m grateful for, and things that I’m looking forward to in my future. I tell the story of my life the way that I WANT IT to be, even if that isn’t how it is now.
MEDITATION - this is HUGE y’all. And ya, I know it’s hard. But I will NOT EVER skip this. I don’t care how busy I am. Minimum of 15 minutes with as much as an hour if I manage to get up early enough. The clarity that comes from taking time to just let your mind settle down is BANANAS. Like good bananas. I don’t like bananas so I feel like thats a bad example. But really… there is this cumulative sense of contentment that comes from taking that time every day for yourself. And I’m pretty sure I’m not even doing it right. That’s how powerful it is. Sitting and meditating wrong for 15 minutes a day makes a huge, positive difference.
MAKE THE BED - super small and, yet, perhaps the most profound. Starting your day doing something that sets you up for success sets the tone for the rest of your day. Every day, I make my bed because I know that I’m saying to the universe, I’m going to do anything and everything that I need to do to feel good and be productive today. When I see a messy bed, I don’t feel good. And I live in a small space. So I make it every morning as a first step. Everything I do is to make sure that I feel good about what I’m doing, where I live and who I’m with. And taking that first step in the morning sets the tone for the day and has a huge impact.
DAYDREAM - I imagine myself filthy rich. I imagine myself in the house of my dreams with the person of my dreams. I imagine myself with my kids laughing. I imagine us traveling and having adventures together. I imagine myself having fun all the time. Any time any sort of negative thought creeps up on me, or doubt starts to plague my mind, I just start imagining my life exactly how I want it to be. I am currently imagining that my biopsy will come back that my cancer is gone again and I am imagining myself enjoying the fuck out of a pizza and a whiskey in celebration.
So, there you have it. Those are my 5 simple steps to making a huge difference in your life right now. They cost nothing, they can all be done right now. The only thing stopping you is you.
And if you’re still stopping yourself, I can help with that. Get CLEAR AF, clear out what holds you back and just watch as your life catapults forward towards exactly what you want…
ARE YOU READY TO GET CLEARAF AND UNLEASH YOUR INNER BADASS?